he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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