I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I can't put those talents on a resume
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
