Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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