absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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