Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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