He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
