ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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