end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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