I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
