I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
