Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize