I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
