i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
