Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
