Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
