It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize