you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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