you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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