Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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