I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
how drunk are you?
Several
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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