I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
