Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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