Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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