dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
