mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
