so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
