They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
