HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
