I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We have started to decorate penises.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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