we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
