marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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