Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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