"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
