I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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