U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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