In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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