Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
