fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
