i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
