Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize