I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
