Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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