i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
