Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
