I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
is this the sara with the beer cane?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
