alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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