Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
