Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
