Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
