I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
We left an ass print on the piano.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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