Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
