Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
