well most of my day revolves around power hour
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
