FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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