all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
