sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize