I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
