my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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