My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
