worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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