you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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