my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
