Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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