i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
