OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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