why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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