haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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