He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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